I have had many experiences that helped me grow. The ones that probably helped me grow the most, however, were being in two different abusive relationships – one with a friend, one with a significant other- while the other was dating my current partner.
All I will say about the abusive relationships is what I always say about trauma and traumatic experiences. While I did grow and change as a person because of them, I firmly believe that trauma is NOT needed to grow. I would have still grown as a person without that trauma, and my mental health would been in a much better place. I will always argue that traumatic experience aren’t necessary to become a better person, and I am staunchly NOT grateful to have been through such experiences.
What I do want to talk about is how healing my current relationship has been. Both my partner, Slade, and I have been through many traumatic experiences that have shaped us as people. That created certain coping mechanisms in us as well as behaviors and how we treat others. By Slade just being themself, they allowed me to heal from my past experiences as well as become the person I want beyond the trauma. I feel everyone talks about negative relationships, but no one talks about how healing and cathartic it is when you finds that person.
Rain for Roses 