It’s been awhile since I posted, though not from lack of topics to write. In fact, a lot has happened since my last entry almost two months ago. The unfortunate trait about me as a person is that I sometime neglect things for various reasons. I haven’t posted a book review on my other site in a over a month as well, despite having read multiple books I have plenty to say about. A blanket I started for a friend lays on my craft table with no idea of when I’ll return to it. Countless stories have rough outlines and first chapters typed out , but haven’t been touched in since the initial session.

It isn’t that I have lost interest and moved on. In fact, quite the opposite. However, the best analogy can provide is that I am similar to a video game protagonist. Whenever I wake up each morning, I only have so many AP (action points) to use over the course of my day. Each action I perform takes up a point until I reach zero and then I have nothing left to give. I can still wander around or sit awake, but I don’t have it in me to complete tasks.

Lately, however, I have been feeling like a different person. After having a mental break two months ago, I feel like I have been slowly changing, becoming more of the person I was when I was younger. Everyday, adult tasks feel like less of a chore and I don’t feel exhausted after doing them..

Yesterday, I was able to write two chapters, work more on my Scarlet/Violet Pokedex, complete my homework, and weed my back yard among a few other small tasks, as well as having a dinner date with the partner who later spoiled me rotten like they are wont to do. It was a marvelous day, but I didn’t notice how productive I was or what a good mood I was in until later when I was laying down to sleep.

Today was another equally productive day, but I don’t feel tapped out or stressed. I can’t express what a relief it is to feel like a human again. I am not sure what changed but I am embracing it while I can. There’s no guarantee that I won’t slip back into my depressive state, as I have had cycled before. But I cannot squander this gift I have been given.